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Okay, so Indiana Jones...

Spoilers... seriously...
Don't click if you dont want to know ^.~


So basically it starts like any other Indiana Jones movie... with Indy being in a scrape =D

Indy: "Ahrg, you damn Nazi's!"
Cate Blanchette: "Um, we're not Nazi's... we're Russian Communists..."
Indy: "Right... my bad. You damn Commies!"
CB: "Darn straight, oh by the way I'm a psychic looney who wants you to find me the Roswell alien"
Indy:"Oh good, luckilly I was the person they called in to excavate the highly magnetic corpse of the aliens in Roswell."
CB: "Right, lead on then, I'll follow you looking straight agead only and totally ignoring the arc of the covenant."
Indy: "Cool."

Fight scene ensues ending with Indy surviving a NUCLEAR BOMB at ground zero by being blown out of the blast radius while hiding in a Refrigerator... and he's unharmed... and has no radiation poisoning.
...riiight...

Shia Lebouf: "Hey guess what I'm your spunky belligerent successor/sidekick. I'm going to follow you around for the next 2 hours and make fun of teaching as a profession because I dropped out of school, then be amazed when you can actually do things like wear a hat and look cool while fighting. Oh by the way can we go save my mom?"
Indy: "Sure thing Kid, Lead on."

::travel fight and capture scenes:

Marianne: "Hi Indy."
Indy: "Hi sweetheart."
SL: "Hi Mom."
Marianne: "Hi Son."
Indy: "...wait what? MOM?"
Marianne: "Psh, yeah. Geez did you think my life ended when you stood me up?"
Indy: "well... yeah, kinda."

::5 minutes later indy and marianne are in peril! sinking into a sand pit::

Marianne: "Oh, Indy? Just thought you should know before we die. My son? He's yours."
Indy: "My what?"
Marianne: "Your son Doofus."
Indy: "WHAT WHAT? My son?! And you let him drop out of school?! D: "
Marianne: "Do you really think this is what you should be focusing on right now?"
Shia Lebouf: "Sup? I brought a large agressive snake to use as a rope to get you guys out of Peril!"
Indy: "SNAKE!!! D: "

::later::
SL: "WTF my dad's a teacher? You said he was an army hero!"
Marianne: "well... he is... kinda"
Indy: "Kinda?"
Marianne: "Shush you mouth! lets fight!"
Indy: "Okay! Then lets make up later and get Married!"
Marianne: "We havent seen each other for like 18 years... but OKAY! :D "
CB: "Hate to interrupt but remember me? Yeah... still crazy."
Indy: "Thats okay we'l escape with the clever use of giant flesh eatnig fire ants."
CB: "Neato, meet you later in El Dorado?"
Indy: "You bet!

::Later in El Dorado::
Indy: "Well what do you know... El Dorado was built by ALIENS! :D"
Everyone else: "Oh yeah... sure makes sense to me."
CB: "Sup? remember me? Lets fight before I get my just deserts!"
Indy: "Rockin', I'll come out on top Indy style and then watch a flying saucer destroy El Dorado before having an Aesop Fable ending."
(wtf?)
Indy: "The true treasure of El Dorado isn't gold... its Knowledge. It was Knowledge all along."
Everyone: "Oooooh..."


Everyone walked out of the theatre trying to justify having gone to see the movie.
Seriously tho... WTF.
Everything looked like a movie set.
EVERY SCENE was shot with a Gaussian Blur and pretty mood lighting.
The Dialouge was okay but a little shakey.

and seriously... Aliens? wtf.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
rayneofdarkness
May. 22nd, 2008 06:09 pm (UTC)
Ahhh haha too much Star Wars for ol' Georgie he's totally flipped his lid. That reminds me of the Family Guy episode with Stephen King where he looks around the room and says for his new book idea a killer lamp will hunt a family. I can just picture Georgie sitting going...hmm..Indy...Indy...19 years later...ALIENS!! And of course Stevie is going...well I haven't had a big hit in a few years...I need money my ex wife is a beeyatch so WHY THE HELL NOT! ALIENS IT IS!!!! And now because there are faithful comic nerds they will be rich again. hahahaha gotta love how far they go for movies nowadays!!
maileigh
May. 22nd, 2008 07:56 pm (UTC)
Haha that's great. Much love to the Megan!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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