Megan (cho_hakkai) wrote,

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I had a feeling that I belonged... I had a feeling I could be someone...

Ugh, well now I know David and I arent the only people who are gettintg damn sick of our art class... a bunch of people were grumbling today... one kid actually walked out.

Honestly though... just how many times can you draw the same goddamned skeleton?

I'm not so unhinged today, I just have that kind of hollow feeling where sadness should be... not suprising, I know I deal with pain this way ^_^;
I have been told it's not healthy... but you know what? neither is sitting in your house crying or cutting your wrists so you'll feel physical pain instead of mental pain... this is how I mourn so if you don't like it... to bad... deal.
If I want to talk to you about it I will... if I don't please take the hint or I wont be held responsible for my actions ^_^

if you don't want to know dont click.

I think the main reason I had such a horrible time of it was I saw her fall, she was right next to me and I could have caught her but I wasn't fast enough. She landed on the leg of the glass table and broke her leg. And she was screaming, screaming so horribly loud, I have never heared a dog crying like that and I couldn't help her. She wouldn't let me help her. and she wouldn't stop walking on it, she just kept walking in a backwards circle screaming and trying to bite me when I tried to help her. All I could do was sit on my floor and beg her to stop, to stop hurting herself and to stop crying. I was pretty much hysterical when I called my mom... who in turn called my dad and they both came home. My dad knew right away she wouldn't be able to recover and that we would have to put her to sleep. I spent my last hour with her petting her and trying to keep her calm, whispering that I loved her... that I was sorry... telling her what a good girl she was. She was still alive when I left for work, according to my mom she was put to sleep at 4:00

and that was my obligitory depressing post for the time being, I'm pretty sure I covered it all so please attempt to refrain from asking me about it.

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