Megan (cho_hakkai) wrote,
Megan
cho_hakkai

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Okay, so Indiana Jones...

Spoilers... seriously...
Don't click if you dont want to know ^.~


So basically it starts like any other Indiana Jones movie... with Indy being in a scrape =D

Indy: "Ahrg, you damn Nazi's!"
Cate Blanchette: "Um, we're not Nazi's... we're Russian Communists..."
Indy: "Right... my bad. You damn Commies!"
CB: "Darn straight, oh by the way I'm a psychic looney who wants you to find me the Roswell alien"
Indy:"Oh good, luckilly I was the person they called in to excavate the highly magnetic corpse of the aliens in Roswell."
CB: "Right, lead on then, I'll follow you looking straight agead only and totally ignoring the arc of the covenant."
Indy: "Cool."

Fight scene ensues ending with Indy surviving a NUCLEAR BOMB at ground zero by being blown out of the blast radius while hiding in a Refrigerator... and he's unharmed... and has no radiation poisoning.
...riiight...

Shia Lebouf: "Hey guess what I'm your spunky belligerent successor/sidekick. I'm going to follow you around for the next 2 hours and make fun of teaching as a profession because I dropped out of school, then be amazed when you can actually do things like wear a hat and look cool while fighting. Oh by the way can we go save my mom?"
Indy: "Sure thing Kid, Lead on."

::travel fight and capture scenes:

Marianne: "Hi Indy."
Indy: "Hi sweetheart."
SL: "Hi Mom."
Marianne: "Hi Son."
Indy: "...wait what? MOM?"
Marianne: "Psh, yeah. Geez did you think my life ended when you stood me up?"
Indy: "well... yeah, kinda."

::5 minutes later indy and marianne are in peril! sinking into a sand pit::

Marianne: "Oh, Indy? Just thought you should know before we die. My son? He's yours."
Indy: "My what?"
Marianne: "Your son Doofus."
Indy: "WHAT WHAT? My son?! And you let him drop out of school?! D: "
Marianne: "Do you really think this is what you should be focusing on right now?"
Shia Lebouf: "Sup? I brought a large agressive snake to use as a rope to get you guys out of Peril!"
Indy: "SNAKE!!! D: "

::later::
SL: "WTF my dad's a teacher? You said he was an army hero!"
Marianne: "well... he is... kinda"
Indy: "Kinda?"
Marianne: "Shush you mouth! lets fight!"
Indy: "Okay! Then lets make up later and get Married!"
Marianne: "We havent seen each other for like 18 years... but OKAY! :D "
CB: "Hate to interrupt but remember me? Yeah... still crazy."
Indy: "Thats okay we'l escape with the clever use of giant flesh eatnig fire ants."
CB: "Neato, meet you later in El Dorado?"
Indy: "You bet!

::Later in El Dorado::
Indy: "Well what do you know... El Dorado was built by ALIENS! :D"
Everyone else: "Oh yeah... sure makes sense to me."
CB: "Sup? remember me? Lets fight before I get my just deserts!"
Indy: "Rockin', I'll come out on top Indy style and then watch a flying saucer destroy El Dorado before having an Aesop Fable ending."
(wtf?)
Indy: "The true treasure of El Dorado isn't gold... its Knowledge. It was Knowledge all along."
Everyone: "Oooooh..."


Everyone walked out of the theatre trying to justify having gone to see the movie.
Seriously tho... WTF.
Everything looked like a movie set.
EVERY SCENE was shot with a Gaussian Blur and pretty mood lighting.
The Dialouge was okay but a little shakey.

and seriously... Aliens? wtf.
Tags: indiana jones
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